w75 7/15 p. 447 Questions From Readers - What viewpoint does God’s Word indicate that Christians should have toward suicide?
"One who intentionally takes his own life, does so in utter disregard for the sacredness of life; he becomes bloodguilty. When one commits suicide while in possession of one’s mental faculties, this shows one to be void of morality, lacking faith, having no fear of God. It is a cowardly act, where one refuses to face up to the problems and responsibilities of life."
Spot on WTBTS, the three individuals I've known who committed suicide were in total possession of all their mental faculties and had absolutely no justification for committing self-murder as you describe it.
What a loving and compassionate organization you are - clearly, God IS directing you.